GOOD OL' DAYS

THE FOLLOWING IS IN NO WAY AN ATTACK ON WOMEN. EVERY HER CAN BE REPLACED WITH HIM, EVERY SHE CAN BE A HE, AND VICE VERSA.

What happened to the good old days? When a guy and girl could just be friends nothing more? Why is it now, that if you have a girlfriend or boyfriend, it’s almost required of you to eliminate all your friends of the opposite sex? Or just because a guy or a girl has a boyfriend or girlfriend, it automatically means they can’t make new friends of the opposite sex? Have we become so insecure that we feel the need to control those we claim to love? Have we become so self-centered that we think we have a right to dictate the life of someone who has blessed us by choosing to be with us? Trust me, I know what I’m talking about, I used to be the same way. But, then something happened, I grew up. I know how it feels to be so insecure that I felt the need to tell my girlfriend who she can and cannot talk to. But, I’ve learned that if I truly care for them then I have to trust them. So many times I come across women that I talk to and they tell me “I don’t think my boyfriend would like me talking to you”. So, I wonder, does your boyfriend trust you? Does your boyfriend think so little of you that you don’t feel he would allow you to make guy friends? Is he that insecure or is he just selfish? I mean really now, it makes sense if we think about it. This is someone you claim to care about and claim to want to be with. This is someone who you could potentially share the rest of your life with, and this is how you treat them? You control them and tell them how things are going to be in their own life? Excuse me, but grow the hell up. She is your mate NOT your slave. You are NOT two halves of a whole; you are two WHOLE people who have chosen to share yourselves with each other. Why do we feel the need to control each other? Why do we allow ourselves to be controlled? I know so many people who tell me “my boyfriend checks my messages, reads my e-mail and knows all the numbers in my phone book . . .” and they’re okay with this. How can people be so naïve, so ignorant, so stupid? How can you as a human being think so little of yourself that you would let someone who claims to care about you control you this way? I once dated a girl who expected me to tell her who she could and could not go out with. She told me each and every person who she talked to. She told me every guy who hit on her, every guy who looked at her, and every guy who tried talking to her. She felt she had to call me and ask me if she could go out with her friends. I finally had to look at her and tell her, “You are not my property. I trust you completely, if you want to go out with your friends you don’t need my permission to talk to someone or go out with your friends. I don’t care about guys who hit on you or talk to you, because I trust you enough to know you won’t do anything”. She was shocked that I said this and ended the relationship because she claimed I didn’t care. I was more than happy to end things; I was shocked I actually had to tell her this. It’s bad enough that women have very low self esteems, but it doesn’t help when we as men treat them as our property rather than a person. The sooner we realize they are a human being just like us, the sooner we will be happy. Not one of you men who act like this can tell me you have peace in your heart. I know how it feels. Always wondering where she is, always wondering what she’s doing, always thinking about what you don’t know. It’s not worth it. Trust me; it’s really not worth it. A good woman is worth going through hell for, but a real good woman won’t make you go through that hell. If you have a doubt there is probably a good reason, but talk to her about it, before you become obsessed with it. A hug between friends can just be that. A phone call from a guy can be just another friend. When a guy looks at your woman be happy, because you know other men want to be with her, but she’s with you. Trust your woman and she will reward you for it. If you have doubts talk to her about it before you act on it. Take it from someone who knows. I went from a guy who broke another guys nose just for giving my girlfriend a hug (because they were good old friends) to now being a guy who says “thank you” when I see another guy looking at my girl. Don’t get me wrong, don’t be naïve, you can tell if a woman is being secretive. Trust me, they suck at lying and hiding things, but we’re just too stupid to see the signs. Close your nose and open your eyes. You’ll see a quality woman by her fruits. A quality woman isn’t someone who denies their friends just to spend time with you, but she’s not the woman who tells you she’s going out with her friends without you. A quality woman is the one who asks you if you want to go and then waits for you to tell her it’s okay to go out without you. They want to be secure in knowing you’re okay with them being their own person, without having to deal with you calling them every minute to check up on them. Watch the friends they go out with, but don’t automatically assume they’re the same way. A good friend will encourage your girl to go out with them, but will never push you to be untrue to you. Above all, trust your girl. If you don’t have trust then you sure as hell don’t have love. Remember, a good woman will not give you a reason to doubt them, because they will tell you everything if you just listen. Life isn’t over if she cheats on you, but don’t be stupid enough to stay with her if she does, because then you really are a moron. If you know without a shadow of a doubt that your girl cheated on you, then the best thing to do is to turn your back on her 100%. If you give her a chance to explain or to ask for forgiveness then you’re only setting yourself up to get back with her and give her a second chance to make you look like a fool again. Nobody dies because someone cheats on them, and anybody who commits suicide or kills because of being cheated on is an idiot. The lesson here is this, now you know the kind of woman you don’t want in life. So move on, find a real good woman and don’t be stupid enough to make the same mistake twice.